Witch hunt

I was still kind of angsty after Wagners exit.

I really wanted him to win, stage a revolution, topple the X Factor (whilst simultaneously funding it oops) and get trapped in a life long binding contract to work for Simon.

But then I realised, don't hate the player, hate the game.

So in an attempt to become submersed in the world of music's elitist sub genres, I came across this.



Turns out the Guardian already discovered witch house a few months ago. Oh well, on to the next one.

Down in the frumps

"I met this fellow two weeks a go, he's very nice... He's young too."
Loose Women today

Madly in love clearly. With some poor chap who said hi in the street.



Me, after my second failed marrige, I can feel it. When even eccentricity can't save you.

Dead Christmassy

I have major issues with people who give more money to animal charities than human ones, mainly because animals have teeth, claws and survival skills most babies and children don't posess. Plus they eat shit off the floor anyway.

However, the fact that these guys managed to get that "glamorised dog neglect" section of the John Lewis advert cut out is quite funny.



Mainly because they basically did the same advert last year , and were clearly trying again to flog the tasteful Christmas advert 'dead horse'.

Although aparently animal 'lovers' (slash eaters) have no problem watching a cow being patted, loved and cared for and then slammed in the oven and fed to children.

Aah jeeze!

No wonder I liked that snivelly X Factor winners debut single!

They ripped it off, entirely.

Donkeyboy is a pop band from Drammen, Norway. With an awesome video.



Similar, no?

I totally should of done my research. Oh god. I started watching X Factor on the back of this!

TRICKED I SAY! DOWN WITH COWELL!

P!NK'S NOT DEAD

Pink is pregnant.



I assume it will be a tiddler of a baby as there's probably not a great deal of wiggle room in those tight ass man abs.

I am still bitter from the Stupid Girls video. It is not OK to poke fun out of Paris Hilton et al just because you're a less attractive version.

'Arry Pottteerr!

Oh how excited I was for Deathly Hallows! Oh and it was wonderful.

Minus this bit.



No.

Forgive me, Mr. Claus

It's almost near Christmas which I am very excited for, as I will be attending my first ever work Christmas party, we have a goose picked and ready and I have put in a good amount of present preperation.

Plus I get to listen to this again.



And I even did a bit of guerilla knitting (freestyle - no pattern) and created these little guys.



I'm hoping they're more 'one of a kind' than creepy, otherwise a small child will have a very upsetting Christmas day indeed.

Jolly good

I honestly can't think of a better time for the Prince to get engaged.

We totally need a huge royal celebration to remind us all that posh people really are great and definitely need a lot more money.



Although they did recycle the ring.

Iron-ing Man

I was shopping online for expensive male jackets.

I came across this absolute treat.



Perfect Christmas present for that guy who has everything except a suitable way to waste a couple of grand that doesn't include charitable donations or doing anything worthwhile or creative with your dollar.

As I lay whining

I have been doing some deep thinking today. I went on a night out last night for the first time in a few months and came to a chilling discovery.

I used to love nights out but now I do not.

I have retired from night time socialising. If you want to hang out call me in daylight hours thanks so I don't 'miss my programmes'.

This is a little distressing as nights out have been my entire focus for three or so years.

I think this is as a result of looking too much into the phenomenom. I think if I'm honest, the only reason I used to like going out was because it meant I could wear some pretty hilarious new clothes.



Yes there have been some real corkers.

But I'm very tired and dying now so I am going to sleep, maybe have a little re-think tomorrow..

Young and zestless

Many people I come across seem to believe that muffins are pudding items - I find this ridiculous.

Would you find a muffin on a desert menu? No.

Would you find one of these lemony numbers I just whipped up this morning on the kitchen table for a mid morning snack?

Yes you would.



But mum said they weren't very lemony, so don't get too excited.

Fight the shower

Although I think violence isn't the answer.
And peaceful protesting is key.

What else can they do..

Strike?



(l.o.l)

If you can't find a dog, knit one

My dog died under tragic circumstances a few years back.

It is well known that the real tragedy was that it was my parents who financed her murder.

So I have knitted a new one. I am debating giving it to my mum as a subversive Christmas gift.



Although I wouldn't mind something to stick on the end of my woolen dog lead.

Art-sy.

When strolling around the back of a redundant shopping center in Hull,
I came across this Plantsy Original.
And photographed it,
for your délectition.

Scrumpdiddlyumptious

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?

Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes! The danger must be growing
[yelling]

For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!
[screams]

The Rowers - Roald Dahl (1959)



Rather a nice touch to slip it into Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) don't you think?

Funny little critters

This is not a particularly hardcore post, although I did have to mutilate a toy pig to get the stuffing.

But.

LOOK WHAT I MADE.



And yes I did set up a miniature photoshoot in my bedroom.



What of it?

..& another things

Listen to these wonderful delights also, they tickle a certain fancy.



Beautiiiiiiful.




For thinking, swimming and cooking.




For those days when I can't find what to wear.




I would like them as my knitting buddies.


Oh and I can't find any of these on youtube but maybe have a research...

Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks (RLYNX Remix)
My favourite thing about my life.

The National - Afraid Of Everyone (We Plants Are Happy Plants Remix)
(CONSTANT REPEAT)

Swim Platform - Paranorma

Willow Smith - Willow Smith - Whip My Hair (Starfoxxx Remix f. Nicki Minaj)
Bit of a sore thumb here, but what the hell.

Tame that nasty shrew

I have been wrong about a lot of things, notably when I argued for two days that paraphernalia just meant things relating to lighters and matches and er.. paraffin type things.

I do think that country and western is the new folk though.



I hope cowboy boots stay away, else I shall be resorting back to dance music.